


In the Continuum

by der_tanzer



Series: Catbread [24]
Category: Riptide (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-20
Updated: 2010-05-20
Packaged: 2017-10-09 15:06:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/der_tanzer/pseuds/der_tanzer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A thousand lives are one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Continuum

**Author's Note:**

> Non-con and violence, but not too graphic.  
> Consists mostly of references to earlier stories. Anything that sounds too foreign probably hasn't happened yet.  
> 

The prison was tight. It was secure and well lit, and in the five years Murray Bozinsky had been there, internal security and prisoner protection had increased somewhat. There were more cameras than when he first arrived, and it was getting harder for the other prisoners to maneuver him into corners or gang up on him without being seen. But it still happened sometimes, and sometimes being seen didn't matter. He was a tired and bitter man after five years of no computers, no continuing education (because the highest level of education offered at Leavenworth was just about equal to what he'd completed when he was ten) and nothing to read besides Hollywood gossip and porn. There was nothing there to exercise his mind, and though he knew in a vague sort of way that he used to be a genius, he doubted he would be able to prove it after two more years of this.

The only thing that had kept him alive this long was Seven, his cellmate. And when he thought about Seven, Murray used the term 'thing' much more often than he did 'man' or 'person'. He wasn't quite sure what Seven was, but 'thing' probably covered it. Other skinny weaklings, and there were quite a few here in the pen, had 'protectors', 'masters', 'boyfriends' even. But Murray just had Seven, that took what it wanted in exchange for keeping him alive, but didn't stop anyone else from taking as well. 'Thing' was the only word he had for that. But maybe, back when he was a genius, he'd had a better vocabulary. Sometimes he lay awake at night and thought about it, listening to Seven snore and mutter threats in its sleep. Sometimes, during those never-ending nights, he wondered if this was his real life. He wished he was still smart enough to figure it out.

Of course he shouldn't have hit Litvak. That went without saying. For the first few months he'd managed to stand on his principles and not regret it. Then he thought he'd renounce anything at all to get out of here. But now it didn't matter anymore. He could barely remember those principles that had once been worth his freedom, and he wasn't sure he wanted to get out, either. What kind of life would he have after seven years of Seven sucking and fucking and beating the humanity out of him? He wouldn't go back to his family, that was certain. There was nothing he could do but hurt them, and he was sure they couldn't help him. No one could. Maybe after the first year, or even the second, but not now and certainly not in another two years. He wondered if Seven might kill him before his release came up. That was something to think about when he couldn't sleep, and Murray slept very little these days.

The end came in the showers, halfway through his fifth year of incarceration. Murray stayed away from there as much as he could, having learned to live with greasy hair and BO. But there were rules and he was herded through once a week with the other holdbacks, by guards who probably knew why they avoided it, but didn't care. Seven was with him and sometimes that helped, but this was one of those days he'd been sold. It happened now and then, and Murray never knew when until it was too late. Something had changed hands—candy or cigarettes or coke—and he was the goods to be delivered. But this time it got out of hand and Seven, if it even wanted to, was unable to stop it. Murray never knew where Seven was or what it was doing while its pet's head was bouncing off the tiled wall. All he knew in that brief instant of consciousness after his skull cracked was that it was the sound of his release.

_"Who are you?" Murray asked, peering in disbelief at the white robed figure before him. "Aren't I dead?"_

_"Yes and no. Dr. Bozinsky—may I call you Murray?"_

_"Yes, please." He glanced down and saw that he was wearing a robe as well. That was nice. It was soft and black, like soot or fine ash, tender against his skin._

_"Murray, things went terribly wrong in your life. Or, I should say, in this life. You see, there are multiple dimensions of reality and you, or a version of you, exist in all of them."_

_"Really? I used to study that, didn't I? I used to look for proof of those dimensions, before…"_

_"That's right. And you found them, after years and years of research, near the end of your long career. You did amazing things."_

_"But—but didn't you just say I was dead? I died in prison, just now. Didn't I?"_

_"Again, yes and no. Remember what I said, Murray. Things went wrong. In other dimensions you didn't go to prison. Your friends—well, they're your friends in those realities—saved you."_

_"What friends? Please, I don't understand. Where am I?"_

_"You are aboard my ship. I am what you would call an alien, a member of the guardian race. We watch over you and try to keep things in order. But somehow, in the reality that you know, we failed you. You were never supposed to go to prison, Murray. You couldn't accomplish anything after your release. Your career would be over and the things you are to discover would go unknown for generations, until another mind as great as yours was born into that dimension."_

_"But if I discovered it in others—well, does it really matter? I mean, does it matter when? Or where?"_

_"Yes. There are things coming in your world, in all the worlds your race inhabits on that pretty blue planet of yours, that must be stopped. And you will find the first answers that will set other scientists down the paths to stopping them. So you see, you must make your discoveries in every dimension, in every reality, because if you fail in one, the others won't matter. Your planet will be destroyed for everyone, even the realities where they found the answers."_

_"I still don't understand."_

_"No, I know you don't. But that's because you've been in prison, your mind rotting away with nothing for it to do. As I said, that was never supposed to happen. Whoever was watching that day really let you down, and I apologize on behalf of my race for our failing. But that's in the past. We have decided to set things right and, because of what you've suffered so far due to our failing, you will be allowed to choose your new reality."_

_"I—what? Please, I'm not smart anymore." He felt less than not smart, in fact. He felt positively stupid, and more tired than he ever had in his life. A soft arm chair appeared behind him and he sat without thinking. It was the nicest thing to touch his body since he joined the Army._

_"I'm going to show you some things, some scenes from other realities that you have inhabited, and you will be allowed to choose one. You—the spirit that you are now—will not merge with that other Murray Bozinsky. Rather, the life that you've lived for the last five years will be erased and replaced with the one you choose. There are many dimensions that are the same, so far as your part in them is concerned, so there will be no negative repercussions from imitating one now."_

_"Right," he said, finally beyond all belief. He knew he was dead, this creature had already admitted that, so this must be hell. That was simple enough. He was in hell and now he would spend eternity looking at images of the happy man he hadn't been._

_"This isn't hell, Murray. It is what I told you it is—a necessary second chance."_

_"Right," he said again. "Just tell me one thing, then. How did I avoid going to prison in all these other dimensions? Did I not join the Army or did I just bite my tongue and ignore what Colonel Litvak was doing?"_

_"Neither. Do you remember those two men who flew you to prison?" _

_"Sure. Nick Ryder and Cody Allen. They were—nice."_

_"Yes, they're very nice. In every other dimension, every other reality that you inhabit, they're your best friends. They called in some favors and got you a new trial. You went on to have a great career, both in the Army and after, and eight years after your second trial, you went to live with them. That's where your realities diverge. But in all of them, you were friends and you saved each other's lives over and over. Just watch and you'll understand."_

_"Wait, just one more thing. Was—am I—will I be raped in any of these realities?"_

_"Just one. It is the catalyst for great tenderness at their hands and deepens your friendship in ways you can't imagine now."_

_"Yeah, I bet. But I don't want to see that, okay? Can I just decide now that I won't choose that one?"_

_"If you wish. Now watch." The white robed figure waved his arm and a great viewing screen appeared, as large as the screen at a drive-in, just hanging in space._

_Murray didn't know what to expect, but it wasn't what he saw. Nick and Cody taking him to a New Orleans bordello and buying him an hour with a pretty girl. Listening sympathetically to his fears of prison, and his shameful confession that he preferred the company of men. But not those men—not the ones he was preparing to be locked up with. He watched himself standing trial and being acquitted, returning to work and, in time, being promoted to Colonel. He worked for different companies, designed software and games, built a robot of his own. Then one day, when things were bad again, Nick and Cody returned and flew him away again. That was where realities began to diverge._

_He watched one where he fell in love with a woman who died in his arms, and one where Nick made sweet drunken love to him and then broke his heart denying it. In both of those scenarios, though, he ended up in bed with both of them, loved and loving. That was the common theme, he realized. They loved him, always. In one life they cared for him after he was shot and nearly died in the hospital, and in another, they didn't know he wanted to sleep with them and he left, broken hearted. But even then, they loved him dearly, and when the time was right, they came and saved his life again. In that reality, Cody gave him a kidney and he went home with them to be loved as he'd always wanted. Life after life unwound before him, and the common thread of all of them was the love of his friends._

_But there was a man he didn't know who kept reappearing, taunting and tormenting in some, and being their friend in others. And he died over and over, in one life after another, sometimes in Murray's arms in the cargo bay of Nick's chopper, and sometimes alone in a hospital. Sometimes Murray wept for him and other times he was merely saddened by the unnecessary loss of life. In realities where they were friends, where this man sought him out and spoke seriously to him, where he sat beside him in the hospital and held his hand in the dark of night, Murray took his death hard. Hard enough that he felt bad for all the Murrays he was in other lives who didn't seem to like this tough, stocky little man._

_Then he saw himself starting a conversation with the stranger, driving him somewhere in a car he now knew to be Cody's, and somehow ending up in bed with him. He watched that life play out with fascination, saw himself move off of the boat to live with him, saw his family come for holidays and make the tough man laugh. In that dimension, the other man died and came back, and they seemed to be very happy. There were incidents and accidents, and after a few years one of them was stricken with a terrible illness that changed their lives and their relationship in ways that were almost unbearable for both, but still they were happy. And Nick and Cody remained their friends. It was the only reality where the three of them were not lovers and he understood that he couldn't have them and this other man, too. But that was a secondary consideration._

_Murray bit his lips and said nothing until it was over. The screen went dark and then disappeared, leaving him alone in the emptiness with the white robed creature that, he now saw, looked like his father._

_"Well, Murray? Do you have an idea of who you'd like to be?"_

_"Can I ask a question?"_

_"As many as you want."_

_"Okay. Am I the same in all of those lives? I mean, do I do the same work in all of them? Do I write software and build robots and all that?"_

_"Yes, of course. That's the whole point."_

_"And I'm happy in all of them? I look pretty happy."_

_"You are. The one where you leave is the hardest—at least of the ones you've seen—but the results are impressive. You return to LA and build the world's first artificial kidney, saving thousands of lives."_

_"Oh. But the other man, the police officer—"_

_"Lieutenant Quinlan."_

_"Yes. He dies in all of them, except the one where we're together, doesn't he?"_

_"I'm afraid so. With you to care for, and to care for him, he's stronger and he tries harder to survive. It's very painful for you, of course, during the time you think he's dead. And later, when he's sick, it's almost unbearable. But you keep him alive, always."_

_"Hmm." Murray took off his glasses (funny, still needing glasses when he was dead) and rubbed his eyes, deep in thought. He thought he would like the one where he loved the girl and helped her to die well before being accepted into his friends' bed. All other things being equal, he would have chosen that one. But he couldn't escape the fact that there was someone who needed him more. He loved Nick and Cody, he had since he met them, even though they just took him to prison and disappeared, and the idea of being their lover was heaven after the last five years of hell. But that stranger, Quinlan, was a profoundly unhappy man, solitary and friendless, doomed to die alone. Murray thought about prison and the chance he was apparently being given to wipe it away. Wouldn't it be best to use his second chance to offer one to someone else? Nick and Cody were just as happy without him—they had each other and, while he could tell they loved him equally in the lives where they were together, they didn't seem to be any worse off when he was gone. It was the cop who needed him, not just to be happy, but to survive. He watched the poor man die a dozen deaths in a dozen dimensions, and only in one did he live and laugh and love. Murray thought about the debt he owed to the ones who would save his life, weighed it against the nothing he owed to this lieutenant, and was surprised to find that nothing had weight, too._

_"When we're together, the cop lives a long time? He doesn't die and leave me alone right away?"_

_"No, he doesn't leave you. When he gets sick it changes things, but he doesn't die and you still love each other very much."_

_"But how long does he live?"_

_"It's better if I don't answer all your questions, Murray. You don't need to know all of the details. They would only distract you from the work that is the purpose of sending you back. But he will live a long and healthy life, and so will you."_

_"Healthy? But—"_

_"Relatively speaking. He'll get well, even if he isn't quite the same, and live for a very long time. Long enough to see you accomplish the things we need you to do."_

_"I'm afraid," Murray said softly._

_"Of course you are. I know this is more than you can process, but there is no wrong answer. As you've seen, every life is a happy one for you. Even when the lieutenant dies, you don't love him in those lives and though you miss him, it doesn't break your heart. If you choose Nick and Cody, you will all live long, happy lives together, and they will help you with your work."_

_"I understand. So, when I choose, where will I pick up that life? Will I go back to Baltimore, where I met Nick and Cody, or what?"_

_"You can choose that as well. You can start in the time you know now, a different version of 1981, or you can go into the future and join relationships and projects already in progress."_

_"When do I go to live with Nick and Cody?"_

_"1984. In some realities, the three of you become lovers at once, and in others you have to wait. If you choose the lieutenant, you will have to wait until 1985."_

_"I understand. And how much of this will I remember? Will I remember you and prison and all the other lives I've seen?"_

_"Would you want to?"_

_"I guess it might get confusing."_

_"Yes. And you would always be waiting for the next thing, good or bad, rather than living in the moment. It would interfere with your work to no end."_

_"So I'll discover the multiple dimensions without_ knowing _they exist?"_

_"You always have."_

_Murray laughed, wrapping his arms around himself and rubbing his palms over the soft robe. It was all so delightfully absurd. He was dead and an alien was offering him his choice of alternate realities, all beautiful and full of love. Suddenly he wondered about the one he'd refused to see._

_"In the other one, the one I didn't watch, does he die in that one, too?"_

_"Yes. You're friends and it's very hard on you, but you get over it."_

_"I see. Now, when I choose, I'll just appear in that life and know everything that led up to it? I won't be confused and—strange?"_

_"No, Murray. It will be as if you'd grown up in that world, with all the memories and knowledge you need. You won't suspect any of this ever happened."_

_"All right, I've made my decision." He rubbed his eyes again, petted his charcoal robe, and prepared for nothing at all to happen. The father-like creature smiled warmly and snapped his fingers._

Murray stepped into the small apartment, his arm tight around the shivering body, and stopped short. Cats. There were ceramic cats everywhere. Would wonders never cease.

**Author's Note:**

> If you got this far and couldn't figure out the end, re-read Power to the Catbread People.


End file.
